‘It is a comfort that Tom gave others a chance at life’
After an accident, Tom gave others a new life through organ donation. His mother Elly shares her story about saying goodbye, support, and hope.
18 februari 2021
One evening, Tom (40) had a serious accident that resulted in fatal brain damage. His mother, Elly Visser from Hengelo, is certain he would have said yes to the question of whether he wanted to donate his organs. “If we could have asked him, he would have said yes.”
Tom’s busy life and passion for football
Tom was a social man with a busy life. Besides his family and work, he ran a café with friends. He had a great passion for football, something he had inherited from his mother. “For more than twenty years, Tom and I went to FC Twente together. His friends were always there too. Very cozy.”
The moment of the accident
On a cold winter evening, police officers came to Elly’s door with bad news. Tom was in the hospital and was very seriously ill. No one knew exactly how the accident happened. Perhaps he had slipped on the icy road. “People had seen his headlights swerving and then found him on the road.”
Between hope and fear
For days, Elly sat with family by Tom’s bed, hoping for a miracle. “I held his hand, stroked his cheek. The medical team said he was healthy, but after a few days it was clear: he had no chance of survival anymore.”
The difficult choice for organ donation
Tom was not in the Donor Register. The family therefore had to decide on donation themselves. “I could just hear him saying it: if I can no longer be saved, I want to help others. Everyone agreed with that.”
Comfort through giving chances at life
Tom donated his heart, lungs, liver, and kidneys. All transplants were successful. “That he gave others a chance at life again is a great comfort to us.”
““I could just hear him saying it: if I can no longer be saved, I want to help others. Everyone agreed with that.””
An impressive farewell
No fewer than 700 people came to Tom’s farewell. His friends organized everything and made it very special. “It was incredibly impressive and nice that we were able to do that before corona.”
Commemoration in the FC Twente stadium
During a home game, Tom was commemorated in the stadium he loved so much. His friends placed a scarf on his seat and everyone paused to look at his photo. “That was very impressive. My grandson received a ball, a shirt, and autographs from the players.”
In search of comfort
The grief is immense. Elly hopes to one day find comfort at Tom's seat in the stadium, a place that was special to both of them. "I find it difficult to go to the scene of the accident, but the stadium feels like home to us."
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