'His death was less meaningless because of the donation'

'My father was always there for everyone,' Martin says, describing his father. 'If someone called with a broken washing machine, he would say: I'm coming. He loved to help; he was good at fixing things, just like tinkering with cars. He was an automotive technician and worked for a long time at a truck manufacturer. When he ended up at home after an accident, he still did a lot, until he had a severe brain hemorrhage that proved fatal. He was only 58 years old.'

The evening of the brain hemorrhage

It happened late in the evening. 'My father went upstairs, and a little later my mother saw him sitting on the stairs. He said he had a terrible headache. My mother worked in elderly care. She saw that something was wrong and called 112. He was still responsive.' The ambulance arrived quickly, and Martin's brother and sister, who lived nearby, were also there soon. They called Martin to tell him to come. At first, it seemed not too bad, but in the hospital, he had the fatal brain hemorrhage. A scan of his father's head showed that an artery had burst. Further treatment was pointless. 'On the way, my brother had sent me messages, but I didn't see this coming. When I arrived and my brother shook his head, I knew enough.'

His wish

Martin's father had recorded his choice in the Donor Register. 'Shortly before that, he had spoken to my mother about it. We supported it; it was his wish.' The local hospital had little experience with donation, Martin says. 'But they guided us very well. We were given a family room next to my father's room, which was nice.' Meanwhile, the family had been informed and visitors arrived. 'In the hospital, they said: let them come. That was super beautiful.'

The brain death protocol

During donation, an organ donation coordinator supports the family and provides explanations. Martin says: 'She explained everything clearly. For example, that my father was on a ventilator to keep his body in good condition for donation, and what they were all going to do. For instance, they would examine the next morning whether he was brain dead.' Brain death means that all brain functions have stopped and will not recover. To check this, doctors use the brain death protocol. This involves all kinds of tests. In one of them, some ice water is put into the ear to test reflexes. Martin: 'My father reacted to that. So he was not brain dead. During a subsequent test, he showed reflexes again.'

Passed away peacefully

Because no curative treatment was possible anymore, it was decided together to stop the ventilation. After that, he would pass away naturally. Then follows a so-called DCD, or donation after circulatory death. 'In our presence, the machine was turned off, and 20 minutes later my father passed away very peacefully. After 5 minutes, he was picked up; we were prepared for that.'

A row of ambulances

Martin's father had smoked for a long time. 'But to our surprise, his lungs were suitable. A kidney and a heart valve were also suitable. The islets of Langerhans were used for research. The heart could not be donated at that time because it was a DCD donation. I found that a pity, because he had an iron-strong heart.' During the retrieval surgery, the family went home. 'When we got to the elevator, there was a sign saying it had to remain open. All out of care for my father. And at the exit, a row of ambulances was waiting to transport my father's organs. That was quite confronting; we let the hospital know that later.'

Misunderstandings about organ donation

The family took care of the funeral preparations themselves. 'A piece of plaster was sticking out above his shirt; otherwise, you couldn't see anything. The surgery had been done very neatly.' All transplants were successful, the family heard after 6 weeks. 'That helped with the grieving process. His death had not been in vain. In a grave, you have no use for organs; they are better off going to people who can actually benefit from them. He saved 3 lives.' Donation also became a topic of conversation in Martin's circle, where many incorrect assumptions surfaced. 'A colleague recently asked, for example: was the body back in time for the funeral? There are strange ideas. Now I can explain things, including that the doctors are not cowboys who only care about the organs.'

A thank-you letter from a recipient

They received a thank-you letter from one of the recipients. ‘That woman was very grateful, but she also realized that we had lost someone. We wrote back that it did us good to receive the letter. It confirmed: his death was less meaningless because of the donation.’