'His death was less meaningless because of the donation'

'My father was always there for everyone,' Martin says, describing his father. 'If someone called with a broken washing machine, he would say: I'm coming. He loved to help; he was good at fixing things, just like tinkering with cars. He was an automotive technician and worked for a long time at a truck manufacturer. When he ended up at home after an accident, he still did a lot, until he had a severe brain hemorrhage that proved fatal. He was only 58 years old.'

The evening of the brain hemorrhage

It happened late in the evening. 'My father went upstairs, and a little later my mother saw him sitting on the stairs. He said he had a severe headache. My mother worked in elderly care. She saw that something was wrong and called 112. He was still responsive.' The ambulance arrived quickly, and Martin's brother and sister, who lived nearby, were also there soon. They called Martin to tell him he needed to come. At first, it seemed not too bad, but in the hospital, he had the fatal brain hemorrhage. A scan of his father's head showed that an artery had burst. Treatment was no longer possible. 'On the way, my brother had sent me messages, but I didn't see this coming. When I arrived and my brother shook his head, I knew enough.'

His wish

Martin's father had recorded his choice in the Donor Register. 'Shortly before that, he had spoken about it with my mother. We supported it; it was his wish.' The local hospital had little experience with donation, Martin says. 'But they guided us very well. We were given a family room next to my father's room, which was nice.' Meanwhile, the family had been informed and visitors arrived. 'In the hospital, they said: let them come. That was super beautiful.'

The brain death protocol

During donation, an organ donation coordinator supports the family and provides explanations. Martin says: 'She explained everything clearly. For example, that my father was on a ventilator to keep his body in good condition for donation, and what they were going to do. For instance, the next morning they would examine whether he was brain dead.' Brain death means that all brain functions have stopped and will not recover. To check this, doctors use the brain death protocol. This involves all kinds of tests. In one of them, some ice water is put into the ear to test reflexes. Martin: 'My father reacted to that. So he was not brain dead. During a subsequent test, he showed reflexes again.'

Passed away peacefully

Because no curative treatment was possible anymore, it was decided collectively to stop the ventilation. After that, he would pass away naturally. Then follows a so-calledDCD, or donation after circulatory death. ‘In our presence, the machine was turned off, and 20 minutes later my father passed away very peacefully. After 5 minutes, he was taken away; we were prepared for that.’

Line of ambulances

Martin's father had smoked for a long time. ‘But to our surprise, his lungs were suitable. A kidney and a heart valve were also suitable. The islets of Langerhans were used for research. The heart could not be donated at the time, because it was a DCD donation. I thought that was a pity, because he had a heart of iron.’ During theextraction surgerythe family went home. ‘When we reached the elevator, there was a sign saying it had to be kept open. All out of concern for my father. And at the exit, a row of ambulances was waiting to transport my father’s organs. That was quite confronting; we let the hospital know that later.’

Misconceptions about organ donation

The family took care of the funeral preparations themselves. "A small piece of plaster was sticking out above his shirt, but other than that, you couldn't see anything. The surgery had been done very neatly." The family heard after six weeks that all the transplants had been successful. "That helped with the grieving process. His death hadn't been in vain. Organs are of no use in a grave; they are better off with people who can actually benefit from them. He saved three lives." Donation also became a topic of conversation in Martin's circle, where many incorrect assumptions surfaced. "For example, a colleague recently asked: was the body back in time for the funeral? There are some strange ideas out there. Now I can explain things, including the fact that the doctors aren't cowboys who only care about the organs."

A thank-you letter from a recipient

They received a thank-you letter from one of the recipients. ‘That woman was very grateful, but she also realized that we had lost someone. We wrote back that it did us good to receive the letter. It confirmed: his death was less meaningless because of the donation.’