‘I would do it again in a heartbeat’

In 2019, Iris van Gelder (38) from Maasbommel read a post on Facebook from someone looking for a donor kidney. That cry for help stayed with Iris, even though she didn't know the woman. In November 2020, 50-year-old Christel received her kidney.

'When I read the desperate plea on Facebook from Christel who needed a kidney, it kept echoing in my head. If you have to ask the world for something like that... The push came when my cousin became terminally ill. I couldn't do anything for him, but I could help Christel.'

My husband supported me

‘I signed up for the preliminary examination. Only when I had to go there did I tell my husband. He doubted my plan, but said: go and ask for information first. Later we discussed it extensively. It wasn't necessary for him, but we don't own each other. Still, we had to face it together; you don't do something like that alone, of course. And he supported me. I really wanted to meet Christel. We talked for 2.5 hours. We also had a conversation with our husbands present. It wouldn't have mattered to me what kind of person she was, I knew I would do it. But it was nice that we clicked.’

Everything was fine, an extra reason to donate

‘During the extensive examination before the surgery, they discovered something in my fallopian tube that was 6 centimeters large. Everything was put on hold, and it wasn't until 3.5 weeks later that I could see the gynecologist. I am never anxious, but I was scared then. Fortunately, it was nothing special, a cyst with fluid, that happens more often. The fact that everything was fine became an extra reason for me to do this.’

3 months of leave from my work

‘I work in special primary education. When I asked my principal if I could get leave for the donation, she said: "No idea, I've never experienced this." It turned out I could get 3 months off; the recipient's insurer pays for that. The school arranged the leave and my substitute.’

I didn't make it too big for my children

‘To explain it to my children aged 7 and 9, I brought in “Jaapie,” one of those skeletons with organs that you can puzzle with yourself. I explained that healthy people have 2 kidneys and can easily miss one, and that I was going to help someone who had 2 sick kidneys. The oldest asked: can you die? My answer was that the chance was very small, but that it is always there, even when you cross the street. I didn't want to make it too big.’

Everything called off because of corona

‘Five days before Christel and I were to be operated on, on November 3, everything was called off. Because of corona, they couldn't guarantee an ICU bed and sufficient care. I wondered if I could get everything arranged again for a new call and if it would even be possible then. But on November 24, it could go ahead after all. Fortunately, because in mid-December everything went into full lockdown.’

A good physical condition is very important

‘We are now 3.5 months later and I have recovered quickly, also because I exercise a lot. I do boxing bag training. A good physical condition before the surgery was important. Now I have to build that up again. It is tough to do that alone now that the gym is closed. Also intense was that schools closed exactly during my recovery. So I had my children around me full-time, with their homeschooling. Together with my husband, it worked out fine and after 5 weeks I was doing almost everything as usual again. Only my concentration lagged a bit longer, but it's okay again now.’

A tense moment

‘With Christel, the recovery was more difficult. I didn't hear anything for a while and thought she didn't want contact, but she had serious complications. That was a shock. I thought: it won't go wrong, will it? But everything is going well now. We speak to each other occasionally. When she congratulated me on my birthday, I said: happy birthday to you too, because a piece of you is having a birthday too! Looking back, I would do it again in a heartbeat. What is a few weeks of feeling under the weather in a whole human life?’