'Someone who needs a kidney might not dare to ask for one'

On April 6, 2018, Shaties Mohan received a new kidney. The donor is his sister Shanette Kartaram. Without hesitation, she decided to help him when he was deathly ill. The result: two perfectly healthy and happy people.

Why did you need a kidney, Shaties?

Shaties: ‘In July 2017, I wasn't feeling well and had a blood test. After that, I had to report to the hospital immediately because my kidney function was only 4%. A year earlier it had been 33%, so it had deteriorated very quickly. I had to start dialysis. That happened in the hospital, because dialysis at home went wrong as I kept getting infections. Dialysis is grueling; it sucks all the energy out of you.’

How did donation come into the picture?

Shanette: ‘I wanted to do it right away. My brother, my younger sister, and I all wanted to donate a kidney. After testing, my brother was ruled out due to high blood pressure, but my sister and I were both equally suitable. Then I said: I’ll do it. You are my little sister, I don’t want to have to stand by your bedside later.’

Shaties: ‘I thought it was a super beautiful gesture from all three of them, but I also found it very difficult. I didn't want them to be in pain; I wanted to protect them. Actually, I would have preferred to receive a kidney from a stranger.’

Did you think about the risks for yourself, Shanette?

Shanette: ‘Yes, they were extensively highlighted by the social worker and the internist. But I am perfectly healthy, so missing one kidney would have no effect. I didn't worry about it for a moment. You weigh everything against the consequences if you didn't do it. People around me had more trouble with my decision. I got nasty comments from some, like: I would never do that. That only made my conviction stronger. I was, however, afraid that the kidney would be rejected.’

How did the process go after that?

Shaties: ‘We had to wait a long time, partly because of all the tests. We looked forward to the moment together. But when the time came, it was all very surreal. We were admitted at the same time and Shanette was operated on first. When they came to get me for my surgery, they said Shanette was doing well. That was wonderful to hear. I also thought: so now her kidney is lying somewhere here. I still find that a strange idea.’

Shanette: ‘That was funny, because just before my surgery I looked around to see if there was a bucket of ice.’

Did your recovery take a long time?

Shaties: ‘I woke up feeling very fresh. When I was still in the recovery room, I was already asking for my iPad.’

Shanette: ‘Someone told me: he was dancing in his bed! I thought that was great. For me, the first week was difficult, but after that, it improved quickly. A few weeks later I was already doing household chores again. And shortly after that, I became pregnant with my third child, and that all went well too.’

Shaties: ‘I had a huge scar and they had said: that will be healed in two weeks. I didn't believe it at all, but it was true. I also recovered very quickly.’

How are you both doing now?

Shanette: ‘I’m a bit more worried about Shaties, I want him to keep doing well. Our bond is closer than before, we see each other more often. We don’t go out together or anything, it’s more about doing daily things.’

Shaties: ‘We cook together every week. We actually wanted to make something different each time, but our first dish, biryani, was so delicious that we make it every week now. We’re perfecting it.’

Did you do anything special on April 6, 2019?

Shanette: ‘We were going to have a barbecue with a lot of people, but my daughter Amyra was born on that exact day.’

Shaties: ‘So on April 6, Shanette gave life to 2 people. Very special. Shanette said: let the barbecue go ahead, but I cancelled everything. In the end, we were together with everyone who was with us a year earlier. I had a necklace with a golden kidney made for Shanette and I gave it to her that evening.’

Shanette: ‘I only wear it on special occasions, because I don’t want to lose it.’

Do you have any tips for people thinking about donation?

Shanette: ‘Talk about it. Someone who needs a kidney might not dare to ask for one. But others often don’t think about the possibility of donating.’

Shaties: ‘Yes, talk about it. Dare to be vulnerable.’