'When I think of Frank, I have to smile'

It has been a while since Ida lost her husband Frank, but the 'film' of what happened is still etched in her mind. After a brain hemorrhage, there was nothing more they could do for Frank. But he could still do something himself: donate his organs and corneas. And that happened, Ida says.

'I met Frank when I was 27. He turned my whole life upside down. Because of his humor and level-headedness, I was head over heels immediately. We got married, and when we had children, I wanted to arrange everything, like a will. And I wanted to record our choices about being a donor. Frank said: they can have everything from me, I won't be using it anymore anyway.'

'I immediately thought: this is the end'

'From 1994, we ran a busy catering business with many staff. We were doing well. A while later, things went wrong. Frank hadn't been feeling well for a few days, and in the company kitchen, he called our son downstairs in a strange way. In one glance, I saw that something was very wrong with Frank. I don't know why, but I immediately thought: this is the end. He was confused and also rebellious, but my son and I managed to get him on the floor. I took Frank in my arms and called out that I loved him. Then he mumbled to me: stay calm. In a strange way, I became calm too. That is the last thing Frank said to me.'

'We went through rush hour with screaming sirens'

'Our son had called 112. Meanwhile, the GP arrived and said that Frank had had a brain hemorrhage. While the ambulance was coming, I packed things for Frank and arranged staff for that evening, and our son called our daughter at the same time. At breakneck speed, we went to the hospital in our town, where the neurologist told us that Frank had to go to the hospital in the city. Subsequently, the ambulance drove through rush hour with screaming sirens; there was no getting through. If I hear sirens now, I feel that pain again... Once there, I took off my shoes and ran barefoot after the stretcher. After examination, the doctors told us that Frank's brainstem was severely damaged by the hemorrhage.'

'We needed closure'

'The next day, I pinched Frank all day long. My sister-in-law got angry about the bruises from the pinching, but I had to know if he still felt anything. He didn't respond to anything anymore. That evening, I indicated that Frank was a registered donor. The following Sunday, we held a farewell service in his room with family and his friends, because we needed closure.'

'Let something good come out of this terrible situation'

'The next night, when I was finally able to get a good night's sleep at home after all that tossing and turning, I was woken up at 4 a.m.: Frank had had another brain hemorrhage. A few hours later, the conversation with the doctor followed: Frank had no chance of survival anymore and the doctor asked if I wanted to proceed with the donation. I answered: yes, let something good come out of this terrible situation then. This was Frank's wish. Thus, the donation was set in motion shortly after. After he passed away, I laid Frank out myself, together with his brother. He looked beautiful. The scar from the donation surgery was covered, and you couldn't see anything from the donation of his corneas either. It was all done very neatly.'

'The donation gave me and the children a good feeling'

'Frank was able to help 5 people with his kidneys, liver, and corneas, and 2 heart valves were frozen for later transplantation. For me and the children, his donation gave a good feeling, despite all our grief. It is nice to know that he did a good thing there. Frank was the life of my life, who unfortunately had to leave me after almost 20 years. When I think of him, I get a smile on my face. I hope this also applies to the recipients.'