‘My mother gave others a second life’
Michelle lost her mother to a brain hemorrhage. Two years later, she looks back: with sadness, but also with pride and gratitude.
29 juli 2021
The first symptoms
'Four weeks before she died, last spring, she had severe headaches and vomited often. It lasted a few days each time. Visits to the GP and treatments by a physiotherapist didn't help. On the fatal day, she lost consciousness in the morning. My father called 112, but by the time the ambulance arrived, she was perfectly clear-headed again. She did make an appointment with the GP, who came for a home visit in the afternoon. Because Dad had to go to work, I took over for him.'
In the six minutes that Michelle went to the pharmacy, her mother lost consciousness again. 'When I called 112, I was instructed to perform CPR. I was able to do that thanks to my company emergency response course. You flip a switch and you just do it.'
In the hospital
In the hospital, a scan showed that her mother had suffered a brain hemorrhage. 'For a moment, we thought permanent brain damage would be the worst-case scenario, but shortly after, the neurologist told us there was no more brain activity and that Mom would likely pass away soon. I had been talking to her just two hours earlier! We were all in shock.'
A caring person
'I miss Mom so much. We no longer watch Formula 1 together on Sundays, which she found so enjoyable. And I miss her in the stands at home basketball games. When it was my turn, she would always wash our team's uniforms, so sweet. She was caring, in a subtle way. From what her manager said during the cremation, we understood that she was exactly the same at work as she was at home.'
Not registered as a donor
'She wasn't registered as a donor, but she had talked about it with Dad, partly because he is a heart patient. At the time, they both said they wanted to donate everything. That's why we were all immediately behind it when the question came up. It fit her perfectly.' Her lungs, kidneys, and liver were successfully transplanted. 'We are super happy that she was able to give those people a second life. Something positive amidst everything that was so terrible.'
Farewell
The family said goodbye with the dog at the foot of the bed. Days before her passing, Michelle’s parents had booked a vacation to Italy. The family went on that trip anyway and scattered her ashes by the sea, exactly at the moment it started to rain. 'As if she was there.'
Remembrance day
Michelle prefers to call the anniversary of her death a remembrance day. Together with her father and sister, she cherishes beautiful moments. The day after, the day of the transplants, also feels special. 'I sometimes wonder how these people are doing. Whether Mom still lives on in other people. It sounds strange, but for us, it is still a comforting thought.'
How things are now
'How are you?' A question I often get and for which I always find it difficult to give a straightforward answer. At least things are better than two years ago. And that is also a step to be proud of.'
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