'Losing your child, that's just not right'

One evening, Kjell, a boy of almost 16, was involved in a car accident. He passed away shortly after from his injuries. His parents, Erica and Roland, talk about their beloved son, the farewell, and how his organ donation gave three people a new life.

A boy who brought people together

Kjell was a social boy with a big heart. “He was a connector,” says his father Roland. “He brought all kinds of friends together, often older boys too. With his bright blue eyes, he was a real charmer. On vacation in Spain, all the girls would watch him walk by.”

His mother Erica remembers how he and his friends transformed an old mobile home into a ‘hangout’ – a place full of fun. “There was always a group of about ten boys. Sometimes even more. Music was played, they laughed, they talked. It was his place.”

An evening that changed everything

One evening, Kjell went out with friends to make a banner for someone's birthday. On the way back, the car went off a bend in the road and hit a tree.

“There was a knock on our window with a flashlight,” says Roland. “Two officers told us that an accident had happened and that one passenger had died. And that Kjell was in the hospital, seriously injured. Upon arriving at the intensive care unit, I already knew: this is bad. The doctor looked at me and I felt it immediately.” Tests showed that Kjell was brain dead. The bleeding in his head was pressing on his brainstem. “It was over,” says Roland quietly.

Organ donation as a natural gesture

When donation was brought up, Erica and Roland didn't have to think long. “That was a given for us. We are both registered as donors. We are grateful that it was possible,” says Erica. “Because of that, we had him with us for a little longer. I felt his warmth, I could still smell him, even though I knew he was already gone.”

Roland also looks back with gratitude at the support in the hospital. “They were fantastic. They also indicated that his friends could say goodbye. Everything was done with care and respect.” Erica adds: “It was during the COVID era, but you didn't feel that there. A nurse even gave me a hug. She said: if I can't do this now, I'll quit this job. That touched me.”

A farewell with love and pride

For the farewell, Erica and Roland wanted to be sure that Kjell still looked like ‘their Kjell’ after the donation. “He didn't donate tissues, only his organs,” says Erica. “You couldn't see anything. He remained our Kjell.” There are three people who can now continue to live thanks to Kjell's organs. “That makes us proud,” says Roland.

Grief that remains

After the loss of Kjell, everything changed. “There is a life before and a life after,” says Roland. “Nothing is the same anymore. And that saying that time heals all wounds? That's just not true. You lose your child. That's not right.” Erica nods. “The helplessness is the hardest part. If someone is sick, there is still hope. But we had no hope left.”

They did find support in their work and surroundings. “Although I had to stop the car a few times on the way to my first day of work,” Roland remembers. “I just didn't dare.”

Remembering with his friends

A memorial party was organized on Kjell's birthday. “I actually wanted to keep it small,” says Erica, “but he knew so many people. It was good, also for his friends.” The party took place at the shed – his favorite spot. “And we do that every year again,” says Erica. “For Kjell.”